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I have been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered numerous obstacles, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been often taken by surprise in relationships. Her husband walked away, which came as an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle vanished during that time, as they were drawn to the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She put in more effort toward our bond, likely understood more clearly the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, many close to her have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she was highly competent, and she left unaware of why things shifted.

Present Situation

Recently, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing time together, yet I realize my role between us is as the audience. I start subjects and she changes conversation onto what interests her. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I try to propose factchecking or other angles.

She has been arranging a trip to a nation I know well on several occasions and resided in for some time. I tried to share insights, however, my input met with resistance. She purely just desired my agreement with her choices. I have ended 30 days in that country and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, yet I doubt she can understand the consequences of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, but it is seldom the peaceful resolution we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with a view to a solution takes courage and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one is to state how things go when you talk. This needs to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no dispute here. Your feelings belong to you, of course. Finally is to question how you are both going to change the interaction between you."

Consider your friend has a point of view, meaning you must to remain ready to hear that. One effective method is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to not say anything for a set time."

This can be effective for promoting mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject all you say, as some people cling to a self-protecting mindset: they have a version regarding their experiences they cannot release because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing they trust. It's tough because there's no easy route with these people, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could initially present defensively and then think your perspective. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it will give you peace that you've been open and direct.